Wait for it…wait for it…bowling! Yup, the seemingly never-ending bowling league that Eric’s a part of has once again started. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fun league and he’s got some good friends on his team, but the league is 8 months long! Longest. League. Ever. And before any of you start thinking we’re bowling freaks, it’s so long because it’s an every other week deal. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a bowling freak. I’m minimally the freak part…
Anyway, I’m not technically part of the team although I do consider myself the resident cheerleader. Why don’t I play, you ask? Well, besides the fact that they have enough players, I will forever cringe when I think back to the first time I ever bowled with Eric (which has scarred me for life). It was about five years ago this fall and I really wish I would've been wearing this shirt:
It was a dark, stormy night. Okay, it probably wasn’t, but just go with it. Eric and I had been dating all of a month at this point and things were still very new. He’s all, “Want to go bowling?” and in the midst of just trying not to blush, stutter, or completely lose myself in thought trying to figure out how I managed to successfully rope this hottie into dating me, I’m all “Sure!”
Bad Anne! Bad Anne! You know this won’t end well!
So I geared up with the sweet neon orange rental shoes and my borrowed bowling ball and was all set. One of the first things I was thinking as I approached the lane for the first time was obviously, “Oh crap – I hope I’m wearing jeans that make my butt look good!” Because let’s be honest – anytime someone bowls you check our their rump. But it’s not entirely on purpose. That’s all there is to look at while someone’s getting ready to throw the ball! Anyone with me on this?? Anyway, little did I know that worrying about the appeal of my derriere was the last thing I needed to be concerned with.
The exact set of circumstances that transpired next are a little fuzzy and I’m still trying to work through them with my therapist, but all I know is that I went to throw my ball and it…flew backwards. Yes. BACKWARDS! Really?!? I mean honestly – who does that?!? Except me, that is. Seriously. SERIOUSLY! Talk about the epitome of embarrassment. Having to run after your ball in the opposite direction is something I will not likely forget anytime soon. :) I have absolutely no idea why Eric didn’t head for the hills then. Little did he know that would be the first of countless ridiculous things I do. Poor guy. And that’s why when people say they suck at bowling, I just chuckle to myself and think “If you only knew…”
~as
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