So let’s travel back to November for a moment.
Back when I had a feeling I might be pregnant, but still wasn’t sure, I did what most all women do. Head straight for the drugstore and pick up a good old fashioned pregnancy test. (Except these days, they’re not so old fashioned anymore. They’re all high tech and digital. Gone are the days of deciphering a “+” from a “-“ sign. Now the little digital window clearly states “Pregnant” or “Not Pregnant”. Fancy pants.)
What happened next…and yeah…I won’t even try to come up with a good excuse for my actions, especially since the laws of gravity should have indicated such a debacle was about to occur, but I was oblivious as my excitement overtook all rational thinking at that moment. So you can imagine my surprise as I started taking the test and it resulted in me partially peeing on our bathroom wall.
DOH.
One thing led to another…and before I knew it, pee ricocheted off the stick. Good luck to ya, nearest wall! Yikes. I guess gravity wanted to do its thing and not be interrupted by some stupid stick in its way.
And you might be thinking, Why didn’t she just close her legs a bit more like a normal person??
Well, A.) I’m not normal, and B.) I had never taken a pregnancy test before, so I had to keep an eye on things to make sure I was peeing in the right place. With the price of these tests, I wasn’t about to screw it up! :)
All I could do at that moment of ricocheting pee was laugh. And while I was waiting my three minutes to get the results, I got busy scrubbing our bathroom wall with soap and water. Good times. Maybe this, in hindsight, was foreshadowing for the eventual “Pregnant” result seeing as our baby will likely pee all over everything, including me and the wall next to its changing table. But now I totally have real-life, out-of-the-diaper pee cleaning experience, people! SCORE.
~as
